#SFYSpoetry

speak your bruises so they slide off your skin onto mine

we are stuck because we don't know how to put it into words

my words were never a walk in the park, they were marathons of heartaches and heartbreaks

and someday I'll be that speaker who found their words

but my hair is still blond because I want to be welcome in your house

darling, you are a chain link fence

remember you are more than just this chain link fence

your heart was made to push blood up

you have to fall down to grow up

but the stress won't let us sleep

maybe rotting in hell would be better than this

beauty isn't skin deep, it's just not that shallow

you know what I want to be in 15 years? I want to be myself

as seniors we are asked to make the most important decisions of our lives, but we still have to ask permission to leave the room

I've fallen down too many times for the bruises to keep up

there's always something in our scars waving back at us

a human with too many rips and tears in her heart

so for now I just keep back peddling 

the popped tires taught me how to change tires

it hurts just as much to get up as it does to fall

I am tender, and now you know what that means to me

holding hands instead of textbooks

signing all their checks with crayons

they don't see my weight, the weight on my hear, the weight on my mind

215 pounds is nothing compared to the weight of my sadness, and I am heavy with it

I should've asked her to check my heart

I know silence kills, but I can't get myself to speak because I know words last forever

you are more than an almost

everyday is one day fewer

sunny days would always be placed in our forecast

sunrises were never supposed to be sunsets

it's not fair that we have to fall to be in love

rainbows are more than what the photography will show

I've swallowed back enough salty tears to know that I'm 100% ocean

tsunami warnings never come soon enough to save anybody

we are the originals and we decide our name

it seems like they hung us between the Mona's and the Van Gogh's only to fill the space

each step, no matter how small, is a celebration

take that rope and tie it around your fears

this is not because I never made it to the front of the student section

that guy in green eggs and ham didn't try something new until the last page, and that changed everything

ignorance is just another patch your mom sewed on your varsity jacket

this, this is my heart

the one who never sleeps
the one who knows it all, even the secrets

this is my heart

the one who can never stop thinking about old men in cemeteries
the one who feels bad for people sitting alone

this is my heart

the one who struggles with making decisions
the one who most definitely has regrets

this is my heart

the one who wants everyone to be happy
the one who is always smiling

this is my heart

the one who wishes time didn't fly so fast

the one who wants to remember it all

this is my heart

the one who is scared of the dark
the one who never wants to make mistakes

this is my heart

the one who has so much that wants to be said

the one who doesn't know how to say it

this is my heart

Things I tell myself I'll never forget.

I remember my 3rd grade class making fun of my because I went by my middle name and not my first name. I quickly made my mom call the school and take my first name off of the records so I would only be on the roll as Berkeley Anderson.

I remember the day I found out about Bryce. Tuesday, August 7, 2012. I was eating a raspberry shake in Bear Lake.

I remember when my mom would make me a lunch everyday, complete with a little note from her.

I remember when I was the one who finished the times table quizzes first every time.

I remember when people started only pointing out my flaws.

I remember being so excited to grow up, but now I'm not so sure about it.

I remember my first guitar recital and I how I wore a white turtle neck with a blue printed poncho.

I remember seeing that old man all by himself at the cemetery.

I remember figuring out how to use cruise control. Truly life changing.

I remember waking up at my grandma's house in my purple pj's and her telling me her school colors were purple and white. She would always do the school cheer "Purple and white, fight fight fight!"

I remember my hello kitty toaster, crayons, shirt, journal, stuffed animals, backpack, and sweats.

I remember stepping on barbed wire.

I remember climbing the giant tree that stood in my front yard. I remember the day my mom had it cut down while we were at school.

I remember playing night games with the whole neighborhood.

I remember living on sunflower drive.

I remember sneaking into the kitchen, climbing onto the counter, and taking a package of gushers before my mom could see me. Then hoping she wouldn't notice them slowly disappearing.

I remember when I accidentally flipped someone off on the bus in 1st grade. Sorry, I didn't know middle fingers said so much.

I remember my black pug, Syd.

I remember 7th grade picture day and how my mom went to the hospital that morning because of blood clot.

I remember my neighbor who made me scared of my own cat.

I remember going to the hospital at midnight because cancer was taking over my aunt. I remember going home and trying to find all the birthday cards she sent me.

I remember the first time someone told me I couldn't do it.

I remember going to the movies for the first time with just my friends and no 
parents.

I remember the day High School Musical came out on Disney Channel. I was at dance so my mom recorded it on two different VHS tapes. I came home and watched it on a little TV in my basement with Claire Mod.

I remember throwing rocks at the mailman and hiding in the trees.

I remember knowing that nobody cared about what I was trying to say.

I remember when I thought all my dreams would come true.

I remember telling myself I would never forget the little things.

#writersparisfilmfestival

words I live by

shoes?